Tag: technology

I remember the first time I heard of text messaging. I was in Spain, it was fall 2006 and I missed a required meeting for my study abroad program because, apparently, someone had texted that the meeting was happening. There was no assistive technology then for cell phones, or none that I had any awareness of, so I never knew about the text.

For years, I avoided texting and mocked it for its “impersonal” nature. Finally, in 2010, when I had the money and was tired of being the one at the table with no phone in their hand, I bought a phone that was compatible with a screenreader whose name I cannot even recall now. I remember the screenreader being around 300 dollars, on top of the phone cost. (Have I mentioned lately how egregious it is that blind people, who statistically bring in way less income than sighted people, are required to pay for assistive technology on top of regular technology?) Anyway, with that particular phone model, (hey hey, HTC Dash!), I could text. It wasn’t always pretty or without ridiculous typos, but it was something.

In 2013, I finally transitioned to a smart phone, some kind of Android thing because I couldn’t afford an Iphone. The screenreader was built in, but flaky. I had literally bought the very last smart phone in the T Mobile store with a physical keyboard that pulled out beneath the touch screen.

Finally, in 2015, I got an Iphone. I could no longer ignore every other blind person saying how amazing the accessibility was. I was skeptical because I couldn’t picture using a phone without buttons and a keyboard. But, I found the accessibility on my Ipods to be pretty good, more or less, so I finally went for it.

This is NOT an advertisement for Apple. In fact, they used to be terribly inaccessible until they got sued for it by a blind advocacy organization. But I will say that I prefer Apple accessibility to everything else I’ve tried. It is fairly simple and streamlined across most apps. So, when I got my Iphone, I installed all the apps: Facebook, Twitter, Meetup. I set up my Gmail. I was all in, constantly checking my notifications and trying to dictate texts. (Results varied greatly there.)

Gradually, I’ve started to see the toll this has taken on me mentally. If I didn’t check my phone a few times an hour, or more, I felt stressed. When I did check my phone, I’d feel better for a minute, because I got some kind of emotional validation from someone “liking” something I posted on Facebook, or I received an instant message, or a new comment or retweet. And then I’d feel anxious until I could check my phone again. When I was out in the world, I’d walk blocks looking at my phone, not paying attention to anything else. Or I’d at least listen to a podcast or music. I fell into a trap of needing constant distraction, validation, proof that people loved me, or that they at least took a half second to click “like” on something I said. That was love now, apparently.

I only started to really realize this after I deleted Facebook and Facebook messenger off my phone. Suddenly, I was on a bus and had no idea what was going on on Facebook. I felt panicky for a while, and then not, and then relief. Facebook messages could wait.

There’s more to it, though. The energy I had put into checking Facebook now went into me checking email, constantly refreshing, refreshing, as I went about errands and life. I recently read an article that said that checking your email more often led to more stress. (Well, duh.) This past week, I’ve deleted all of my email off my phone. All that’s left is text messaging (still full of typos, still bad at dictating), and calling. Those are the only things I can do to contact others when I’m not tied to my laptop.

I know people have described the way we constantly look at our phones as obsessive, even addictive. I’m not authorized to diagnose myself, but I know that I have obsessive tendencies and my constant phone checking got stifling. I’m really hoping I can stick to just texts and calls. I’m hoping it will reduce my anxiety and increase the awareness of my immediate world.

What about you all? Do you do anything to reduce phone gazing? Or, does the constant gazing not affect you? Or, do you think the whole screen addiction thing is ridic? Tell me in the comments, and if you have the time and bossiness level, feel free to check in to see if I’m keeping myself accountable!

My friend Arlie has a t-shirt with a picture of an old-school computer and the phrase: “Computers use to suck” underneath. I would like to fight whoever decided on the “used to.” Because, I am about ready to throw my BrailleNote and my Iphone out the window.

This is a long tale, a veritable slog through the frustration of trying to make computers that supposedly only “used to” suck do the things that they supposedly are designed to do. It is a tale familiar to everyone who has ever tried to do this and failed, so that’s basically everyone, unless you’re the smartest person in the world. (You know who you are.)

This tale begins with my completely radical notion that I would like to be able to type faster than ten words per minute on my Iphone. I thought, hmm, I should get a bluetooth keyboard. Then I remembered way back in my brain that at some point before acquiring my Iphone, I’d read that you could pair it with a BrailleNote. Hark! I thought, (whatever that means), I shall see about doing that instead of spending money on a keyboard that will not only be expensive, but also I’ll have to carry it around and who wants that when I already carry my BrailleNote around everywhere?

Now, I will admit that from the very beginning, I messed up. This is where having a little knowledge is a bad thing. I had already paired many bluetooth devices with my BrailleNote, so I assumed this would be the exact same process. So, I paired from my BrailleNote; my Iphone popped right up. I typed in the stupid, stupid authentication code. Later, you will hear why this code is going to put me in an early grave. Everything seemed to be paired. The BrailleNote actually said, “Iphone, paired.” But nothing else was happening. Which was strange. If I’d done it right, the BrailleNote should now be displaying the apps from my phone.

So, I went to Google. The manufacturer of the BrailleNote, Humanware, provided me a tutorial. It said that I must turn the “braille terminal” from “USB” to “bluetooth.” Okey dokey, that made reasonable sense. So, I did that. Still nothing. I did more Googling. HUMANWare informed meof this: “The BrailleNote Apex and the Iphone, a winning combination!” I was still slightly hopeful, but was definitely anxious for the “winning part.

Oh, good, Here we have “trouble-shooting.” My first mistake was that I needed to set up the pairing through the Iphone, not through the BrailleNote. Oops. And, you don’t set it up through the “bluetooth” menu, which to me makes the most sense. No, you must go to “settings”, “general”, “accessibility”, “voice over”, and THEN “braille”, and hope that your Braille display will show up there. Mine did. When you double tap to pair it, you have about 10 seconds to type in the authentication code before it tells you the pairing is unsuccessful. You may think this is easy, but here’s the thing: the code is 0000. To type it, you must double tap on the 0.” This means you must find the 0 on the number pad, and tap it eight times. One more time than eight and you’re effed. My finger was extra tappy due to the coffee and my annoyance, so I ended up messing up a lot. If you manage to type in the four 0’s, you must then navigate back to the “pair” button which means swiping left through the numbers 1-9, out of the “PIN” box, and then to the “pair” button. Ok, maybe I am just incompetent, but doing this in 10 seconds was giving me all kinds of whiplash. Oh and I forgot, if you don’t succeed at this in three attempts, you must START OVER, which means going back to the bluetooth menu, telling the Iphone to “forget” the BrailleNote, and then go back into the “Braille” menu to search for it again.

I did this approximately 10 thousand times. Nothing. Just the same error message, “Unable to connect to Apex”, with an “ok” button. Or, a few times, “unable to connect to apex. Makes sure it is turned on and within range.” No shit. OR, once or twice, “unable to load Apex driver.” Omgomgomg.

So, now what? The trouble-shooting instructions mention that if you tried to pair with the BrailleNote first, it might still be trying to pair, so do a hard reset. (This effectively restores all factory defaults. The only thing more extreme is a different reset which deletes all your files, from what I can tell.) So, I did that, to no avail. Also, suggested: make sure your BrailleNote name is correct in the “computer name” menu or the Iphone won’t recognize it. All righty, did that. Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Back to feverishly typing in the authentication code: (what in the Goddess’s name is this for, anyway? It’s not a password, because it’s pretty much universal for all bluetooth devices. Just, why?)

Agh, I might have to call tech support. I really, REALLY don’t want to. I have never had anything good happen while calling tech support, except:
a. they tell me I need to learn to follow directions.
B. They ask me if my computer is actually on.
C. They tell me to “send it in”, which takes three months and never costs under 1000 dollars.

All I have to say is, really? Could we make this more complicated and unintuitive? And we’re telling ourselves that computers “used to” suck?