Day 3, and this is where I am.
I feel more and more afraid and unable to cope with being alone. I crave community and am struggling with where to find it.
I am worried about living as a poor person without a lot of choices or financial power. Without that power, I can not make changes, and with the uncertainty of the upcoming administration, I feel this very acutely. I feel a growing sense of dread that this will be the rest of my life, tinged with fear of just getting by.
I am afraid for the vulnerable people I know, and the vulnerable people who have decided to not go on after the outcome of Tuesday night. They are out there. I know of at least two personally.
There are moments where I think: I MUST stop this. I must get up. I must walk, exercise, eat better, make myself stronger. I am going to need my strength. Others will need my strength.
I am still, mostly, content to listen and to put forth positivity, rather than yelling at invisible Trump supporters, or shaming them, or screaming at people for not voting. That particular use of my voice is completely unproductive, and does not make me feel better.
I am feeling scattered in my writing and in what I say, and I think, maybe, hopefully, I just need more time. We just need more time, and though we don’t have much time, we have a little. And perhaps, we who need it should take it.
How are you? I want to hear from you. I want to hear voices from my community.

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