This morning when I stepped outside to water my plants at 6 AM, the air felt like fall. The light was dim, whereas for months it had been full and bright at this time of day. During the night, a spider had spun its web over the leaves of my tomato plant. Summer Lauren had no qualms reaching through the fragrant stems and demolishing those threads, but today I couldn’t bring myself to destroy someone else’s home.

The breeze was chilly and damp. I slithered my bare arms through the tomato leaves to pluck the small bounty of fruit. I was relieved to stand in mist and coolness. I love fall, though its coming sometimes makes me exquisitely sad.

It’s been a strange summer. Without school, I feel anchorless. My writer friend Kate, who whizzed through Seattle to share a meal with me on her way further north to visit her sister, says I’m right on track with the post-grad blues. She’s two years out, about to publish a book, and finally starting to feel grounded.

I’m also unsettled because of our nation’s climate of hate. I know there are well-made arguments about staying and fighting, or even just staying and witnessing, but I am heartsick over what we know is going on and has gone on in this current administration, and I imagine we actually know very little about the whole of it. Just call me a conspiracy theorist. I am, not in jest, trying to think of any viable strategies of getting out of this country and into one where I feel safer, where I feel like my fellow citizens are safer. Maybe not permanently, but for a while. Canada is so close.

As is probably apparent at this point, it turns out I have very little to write about today. But I did want to sweep the cobwebs out of this corner of the Internet and say hello to you, and that I’m alive, and that I’m glad you are, too.

3 thoughts on “Fall

  1. I absolutely love the simplicity and beauty of this post! And I agree-the hate in this country is something that sickens me and scares me beyond words. How will we ever come back from it? But meanwhile, your lovely blogs will make me smile, at least a little…

  2. Unfortunately, I think you’ll find, even with all the hate, that the US is still one of the safest countries. But everyone has to do what’s best for them. The grass is always greener they say.

  3. There is oh-so-much condensed into this: the power of beautiful sadness. The reality of of post-graduation mmmm, call it “life vacuum” for lack of anything close to a good term. The horror of this “administration” (and what its existence means). And finally, how important that one corner of the internet and its cobwebs (both metaphorical and real) are.

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