What I’m Doing

Watching the tiny seedlings I planted 10 days ago slowly sprout. Misting them gently and warming my hands under their grow light. Thinking about eating microgreens.
Participating in a recorder practice challenge. Some people do push-up challenges, I do recorder challenges and I’m not sorry. Playing my etudes and all the chromatics. Composing little dances and fuges for the bass.
Reading too much stuff about coronavirus and our impending doom. Not reading enough other stuff. Wanting to only read poetry for a month, but feeling that would be irresponsible.
Tracking my resident neighborhood robin on my walks around the block with Kiva. Contemplating how comforting it is that birds have no knowledge of this.
Finally being able to adhere to my long-held but barely-enforced rule, “Drink the tea you have before you buy more tea, lest your apartment become a tea museum.” Ditto eating all the jam I made last summer.
Worrying about my pickle supply. Some people freak out about toilet paper, I freak out about pickles. Aren’t we all unique and wonderful?
Feeling freaked out and discombobulated and anxious and all the things that prove I am not, in fact, unique.
Cleaning stuff like my fridge. It was really dirty. I am shame.
Hearing about babies being born and thinking that being born into this world right now seems unfathomable.
Sipping whiskey at my kitchen table, watching the light dim in the sky.
Stretching while watching the sun come up.
Feeling helpless. Feeling sad.
Hoping I can be resilient. Hoping I can continue to remind myself that right now, this is not about me and my discomfort and my loneliness.
Rolling on the floor with my dog. She is the cutest and the best and the most oblivious.
Wondering about all of you. What are you doing? What are you thinking about?
Stay strong, my loves.

9 thoughts on “What I’m Doing

  1. I’m with you on the pickles oh birthday buddy! And the tea! I believe you can never have too much of either!

  2. Your writing did more to keep my spirits up than almost anything else I have seen! The tiny shoots of plants, rolling on the floor with Pup, cleaning the fridge (I haven’t gotten quite that desperate yet). Loved it all-hands love you! Jane

  3. Painting furniture, watching Miranda on Netflix, walking, helping dad build the bathroom in the basement (well, not helping much), going to see Grandma while they still let me, watching the plants pop out of the ground, and thinking of you and your brother and hoping you both stay healthy. LOVE YOU BUNCHES!!!!

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